


Look Both Ways

by 17kylie_readsalot17



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Car Accident, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, a n g s t, surgeon bones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-02
Updated: 2016-09-08
Packaged: 2018-08-12 13:24:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7936384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/17kylie_readsalot17/pseuds/17kylie_readsalot17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leonard is tired after working agonizingly long shifts at the hospital, but On-Call doesn't care how exhausted he is. Emergencies still happen whether he wants them to or not, but sometimes there's just nothing to do to save the life on the gurney.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. J-walking

Leonard stepped out of the hospital and into the fresh evening air at 7:59 Thursday night--nearly twelve hours after he'd started his shift. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, the winter air burning his lungs. He fished his keys from the bottom of his pocket as he walked up to the sidewalk, glanced both ways, then ran across the street from the emergency entrance to the staff parking lot. His phone began to buzz against his thigh as he unlocked his car and slid into the driver side.

"Hello?" He grumbled, voice husky with exhaustion. There was a sigh of relief on the other line.

"Well thank god you're still alive," Jim said, though it sounded a bit more like a scolding than it should have. Leonard rolled his eyes at his fiances complaint as he tucked his phone against his cheek and shoulder, slipping the keys into the ignition--although missing a couple of times and scraping up the metal around the keyhole.

"Sorry, Jim, surgery ran late," He got the car started and spun the dial to blast heat on his cold hands. He heard the question Jim was about to ask from just his slow worried intake of breath and cut him off before he started, "Patient pulled through though, don't worry."

Jim released his breath in a quiet laugh, "Good, that's good. Are you on your way home? Dinner got cold an hour ago, I ate without you--but you can't blame me, Bones, it smelt really good," There was a rustling on the other line and Leonard heard the lie in the sound of rustling foil and the oven timer beeping in the background.

"Just got in my car--hey, your appointment was today right? You didn't forget did you--because I swear, Jim..." He asked, pulling the phone away from his ear to put him on speaker, his phone resting on his thigh as he threw his arm over the passenger seat to look over his shoulder as he backed out of his parking spot. 

"No, Doctor, I didn't forget. You left me a note--which I find incredibly insulting, I'm a grown man I can remember my own damn--"

"You would've forgotten," Leonard interrupted, shifting from reverse to drive and pulling up to the curb, looking over his shoulder before peeling into the nearest break of traffic and into the street.

Jim chuckled, "I would've," He didn't sound at all ashamed, "But you forgot your lunch--lucky for you, I actually remember that eating is important, especially for someone on his feet all day--"

"What're you going on about?"

"Under your seat, Bones," Jim chuckled, not acknowledging the fact that his tirade had been cut short, "Snack on that and I'll see you at home."

Leonard reached under his seat and felt the crinkle of paper. He pulled a brown paper sack into his lap and let it slip between his legs as he unfolded the top down. Unable to stop a grin from slipping onto his lips, he pushed aside the snack-sized Ziploc bag of carrots out of the way and grabbed the power bar from the bottom, "Love you, Jim," He said-and although his words were a bit distorted from trying to open the wrapper with his teeth, Jim heard.

"Love you too, Bones."

His phone beeped as the call disconnected and he tore past the foil wrapper and into the Clif Bar. One hand on the steering one on his food, he made his way onto the highway, though chewing absentmindedly and not paying much attention to anything but the bumper in front of him. His eyes burned from strain but if he closed them to give himself a moments reprieve he knew he might fall asleep where he sat--and going some seventy miles an hour, that didn't appeal to him much. He bumped the radio with his fist just to keep his mind from wandering to far from the here and now and hummed along as he chewed the macadamia nut bar with fervor. Jim was a saint.

It wasn't like he forgot to eat, he just didn't always have time--not when in his last surgery a resident's accidentally slipped and cause massive hemorrhaging in the patients abdomen and the procedure ended up lasting a full nine hours. God, he couldn't wait until the honey moon--couldn't wait to sleep in and not end the day with the smell of blood and death following him home.

Speaking of home, he pulled into the driveway and stomped on the parking break to make sure the car wouldn't roll down the steep slope. He slammed the door behind him and walked towards the front door, swinging it open and slouching inside. The smell of sharp seasonings filled the whole house and a golden head peaked around the kitchen corner.

"Look who finally decided to show up," Jim grinned and walked towards Leonard. He leaned in to kiss Jim's cheek but Jim turned his head at the last moment to catch him in a real kiss, bringing up his hand to cup Leonard's chin--scratchy with his 5 o'clock shadow, "I hate your hours." 

Leonard let out a huff--caught somewhere between a laugh and an exasperated sigh, "Believe me, I do too," He said before leaning in for another soft kiss before shrugging out of his coat, so he stood in his thin scrubs in the cold house, "I've made sure M'Benga can cover me for a few days in February though. We can go somewhere warm." 

Jim grinned deviously and Leonard raised an eyebrow, "What?"

Sliding his hands down Leonard's arms, Jim took his hands and brought them up to his shoulders and let his own hands slide down to rest on Leonard's waist so they were pressed against each other, "Why go somewhere warm when we can find a way to heat up on our own."

Leonard knew what Jim was getting at--who was he kidding, Jim was the most straightforward person ever when it came to sex--but he also knew this was a perfect opportunity to be a tease, "You mean the lasagna, right?" He slipped away from Jim who let out an offended snort, and Leonard continued, moving the foil off of the casserole dish, "Of course I'm almost too tired to eat let alone do anything else," He glanced at Jim out of his peripheral and found him leaning against the door frame with a smile.

"Too tired, hmm? Do you need me to feed you?" Jim japed, kicking off the door jamb to kiss Leonard's ear from behind, before moving to grab plates. He handed one to his fiance and smiled while he watched him splatter red sauce all over the front of his scrubs.

"Shit, I avoid getting blood on me all day but still-" He was cut off by Jim's bright laugh.

"Fate is cruel Leonard McCoy. Now come on, let's eat."

* * *

God, did Leonard want to put his phone on silent when he slid under the covers that night, Jim's hand resting on his thigh. But On-Call was On-Call and there was no avoiding that. He just hoped no calls would come through at least until Jim left for work--Jim was never one to complain when the calls woke him up, bitch sure, but he never begged Leonard to shut his phone off even though his work was nearly as exhausting as Leonard's. Lucky for him, the sun had risen and his bed was cold when the shrill ringtone broke through his sleep.

"Emergency, Doctor McCoy, we need you right away," A nurse said, frantic shouts coming from the other line.

He pulled himself on and threw on his scrubs from the day before before gruffly answering, "Be right in," And dropping the call.

* * *

He was strutting as quick as he could down the hallway when a nurse fell into step beside him.

"Brief me," Leonard said, shrugging on his lab coat over his scrubs as they strode quickly for the pod with a car crash victim who'd been wheeled in moments ago. 

"Caucasian male, late twenties, he was in a hit and run while crossing the street," The nurse debriefed him and he grabbed the chart from her, entering the pod and throwing back the curtain. A man with features swollen past recognition and an oxygen mask clamped down over his face stared up at him. Though Leonard didn't need a face to name the man in the bed, he could place him anywhere just by his glowing presence, by his bright blue eyes that were now bloodshot and half closed. He spun on his foot and flung himself into the hallway. 

"I need a surgeon in here, stat!" Leonard cried, his lab coat billowing behind him as he came to a jerking halt in the hallway, "Please!"


	2. Run

Jim's alarm went off without relent and he groaned, pulling himself up to swipe right and silence the Beastie Boys. Bones' hand was clenched in his t-shirt and his leg thrown over Jim's hip. The sun hadn't begun to rise yet, only the slightly reddened horizon outside the window. He groaned as he grabbed Leonard's leg and moved it off of him, leaning in to kiss the side of his lips before standing up--one foot bare, the other only halfway in his sock. He groaned as he wandered towards the bathroom to brush his teeth and begin to tame his hair. He could barely keep his eyes open to find his own toothbrush among Bones' three, 'Jim, you know about dentures right? I'd like to keep my own teeth for as long as possible.'

Jim quickly splashed some cold water in his face and began to brush his teeth, wandering back into the bedroom to fish a pair of pants from the dresser. Though when he stepped into them he lost his balance and almost crashed into the bed, luckily he caught himself on the headboard before startling Leonard awake.

He began to button up his dark blue shirt and grabbed his duty belt, fastening it around his hips. Narrowly missing the bathroom door, he twirled to avoid the door knob and made for the sink to spit out his toothpaste and rinsed his mouth out with water. 

Snatching both paper bag lunches from the fridge, he tucked one under his arm and left the other right beside Bones' keys so he would grab it if he got called in. He grabbed his work boots and his badge from beside the door and walked outside, holding his lunch with his teeth so he could lock the door behind him. It was frigid outside so he shuffle-ran to his car in his unlaced boots, climbing inside and blowing on his hands, "Shit, shit, shit," His breath was frost white, floating in front of him as he fumbled to start the car.

He cursed winter under his breath and backed out of the drive, then settled into his heated seat and headed for the station, the road was slippery with ice--yet to have been melted by the hidden sun--and he kept his tired eyes open wide to watch for the signs of black ice under the thin blanket of snow. 

It was a short drive to the station and he pulled into his parking spot ten minutes before he was due to start. He braved the cold, forced the door inside and jogged inside.

"Hey, Kirk," Uhura said, fixing her hair up in a bun to keep it out of her face during the day.

"Hey there," He waved, as chipper as he could manage in the early morning while stifling a yawn, "How was your night?"

She smiled slyly at him in the mirror, "I can't complain... Spock may or may not have lit candles for a dinner that he may or may not have cooked himself."

A grin cracked Jim's face, "All right you've gotta tell me what else he may or may not have done as soon as I get back, I'm gonna go grab coffee from across the street quick. Can I get you anything?"

"Anything with higher caffeine content than that gross tea Spock drinks would be fantastic," She said, moving into the back room where she was joined by Sulu, who sat himself on the desk beside her.

He ran back out the door and made it past the parking lot and smashed his fist into the crosswalk button, hopping from foot to foot while he waited for the green light. He'd lost the feeling in his toes when the red hand finally disappeared and he began to run across the white striped path when a car's horn began blaring, tires spinning tractionlessly on the ice of the road. 

He hardly had time to suck in a cold, frosty breath of air before he heard a loud snap and pain blacked out his mind.

* * *

"I need a surgeon!" He shouted again, voice cracking in fear.

"Doctor McCoy, what's going on?" Nurse Chapel asked and he moved forward to grab her shoulders.

"Christine, I can't operate, it's Jim--it's my fiance," Her eyes widened and she pulled out of his grip, "I'll find M'Benga."

He rung his hands in his scrubs and turned back to hover in the door way. Jim was shifting in the bed--trying to roll onto his side--a nurse tried to push him back into the bed but he began groaning and shoving her away, "BP dropping, Doctor McCoy are you going to operate?"

His breath caught in his throat and he stood paralyzed at the prospect of taking a scalpel to Jim. Not only his fiance, but his best friend. He stepped back out of the room, "Christi--"

She was beside him in an instant, "M'Benga is wrists deep in a trauma patient but I called Boyce, he's on his way from the OR."

He nodded curtly and Chapel slipped past him into the room, grabbing a syringe from the cart and shoved it into the IV line Jim kept trying to yank from his vein, pressing on the plunger to empty the drug into the line. Leonard jumped to the bedside to grab Jim's hand. His eyes twitched in recognition and he squeezed back, "Bones," He tried to say from underneath the oxygen mask, but his words were stuttered and muffled. He was fighting the sedative Chapel had just administered and wouldn't lower his eyes from Bones'. Leonard couldn't hear over the roar in his ears and he dropped to his knees to hide his face in Jim's arm.

"McCoy, you have blood on your scrubs," Boyce said and Leonard found his way back to his feet, "Yet you can't finish operating?"

"No I haven't started, this is..." He looked down at his dirty shirt, "Sauce."

Boyce gelled his hands and slid on gloves as Jim's hand fell limp in his.

"You know him, then?"

Leonard managed a nod and Boyce ended the questioning there, turning to the nurse.

"Fractured ribs, internal damage and heavy internal bleeding in the LUQ, possibly extending to LLQ," She said, cutting off Jim's police shirt and handing Boyce a scalpel. Chapel looked between Boyce and Leonard, and stepped around the operating table to take his arm.

"You don't need to be here for this," She whispered and tugged on his sleeve. He couldn't tear his eyes away as Boyce brought the scalpel to Jim's bruised and swollen abdomen and made a clean incision. Jim twitched and Leonard threw himself over the trashcan before he began to retch.


	3. Cross Walk

Leonard left the room after emptying his stomach into the trashcan, Chapel leading him away with comforting words, "Len, go rest in your office, okay? I've gotta get back in there, but I'll come for you as soon as it's over."

With a trembling hand hiding his face he nodded and let her push him towards the staff hall. He watched between his fingers as Chapel ran back into the room and he felt his stomach turning again. Leaning against the wall, he waited for his head to stop spinning--the fear and dread tumbling around in his chest, restricting his throat. He couldn't stop his mind from wandering back to the operating table, but he pressed the heel of his palm into his eye to try to block it out as he stumbled to his office. 

Not bothering with the light switch, he found his chair in the dark and slumped into his seat, dropping his head onto the desk. 

"F-fuck," He gasped as a tear slipped down his cheek, " _Fuck._ "

Leonard folded his arms in front of his face so he could bite at his sleeve to stop from breaking down. The terrible silence of the room did nothing to calm him as his breaths became more and more rapid. God, he wanted a drink. 

No, no what he wanted was Jim to be at work not splayed out on a table with Boyce's tools buried deep in his stomach. What he wanted was for Jim to call him and ask how work was, remind him to get lunch from the Deli before starting surgery. He wanted his friend safe. 

Doctor McCoy fought back the sobs racking his chest, forgetting to breathe. He fell asleep whimpering into the crook of his elbow, wishing for his old hip flask and a comfier chair.

* * *

"Len, wake up."

He batted away the hand on his shoulder with a groan.

"Get up, old man," Chapel yanked on his arm so his forehead hit the desk and he sat up, rubbing at his bleary eyes.

"Christi--" He shot to his feet remembering where he was, "God, the surgery--is he--" He flailed to get a grasp on the desk, eyes wide with fear and his eyebrows turned up in anticipation. 

"He's fine! Calm down, Len. Your boy gave us quite the scare but he's alright. The anesthesia is about to wear off, do you want to be there?" She held onto his arm--a fact he was immeasurably grateful for as his knees felt weak and his head light. 

"Y-yeah, oh thank god, yes let's go," He put his hand over hers and closed his eyes for a second to orient himself. 

She lead him through the hall, hand clenched tightly in his sleeve as though worried he might faint at any second. A gurney was rolled past them when they were steps away from the Emergency Room and Leonard stumbled to let them through before crashing through the door. 

Jim was pale--his skin ghostly white beneath the red puffy swelling in his cheeks--but his chest rose up and down with heavy breaths and a bag of blood hung above him. Rushing to his side, Leonard grabbed his freezing hand. With a hum, Jim's head rolled to the side, his left eye opening just enough to spy Leonard. His lips twitched upwards in a grin, he opened his mouth to speak but his eye shut again and he sighed, swallowing and trying again, "Nurse told me," He started, voice slurring as he fought the anesthesia, "You puked in the trash."

He couldn't find it in himself to be embarrassed or cross with Jim as his face broke into a lopsided grin, "Nurse told me you wet yourself," He shot back.

Jim let out a lazy snort, "I've heard that," He swallowed again and licked his lips, "Happens when you get hit by a car."

"Still, what would all your police buddies think about you J-walking?" Leonard didn't bother to hide the tears that slipped past his lashes, his breath caught in his throat as he kissed Jim's scratched knuckles.

Jim opened his eye again for just a moment while he said, "Cross walk... Was on cross walk."

His hand twitched in Leonard's when Boyce walked into the room, "We put him on morphine, though I wouldn't let him move much, he'll feel it in no time," When McCoy had nodded his understanding, Boyce turned to Jim, "Next time you walk out in front of a car, don't tense. It'll do less damage if you try to relax. Or, you know, jump out of the way next time."

Jim's laugh was delirious as he raised one arm in a weak salute, "Sir, yes, sir," He mumbled, eyelids fluttering.

"Bleeding was pretty bad but wasn't too hard to patch up when we were inside. He started going into shock which complicated things but, as you can see, he didn't die on us," He finished, handing the chart to Leonard.

"Thank you," He muttered, voice raw. He didn't look down at the papers on the clipboard, setting them aside. He didn't have the emotional stability right then to see just how close Jim had gone to death's door. Boyce nodded and left, shutting the door behind him. Jim let out a soft hum and shifted till Leonard's hand was pressed against his cheek. 

"When I first saw you, thought you were gonna operate, Bones," His tongue sounded heavy in his mouth, "'Nd I was excited. Finally getta see those legendary hands in action."

Leonard shook his head with a sigh, "God, I was so scared, Jim. When I saw you I just..."

" _You_ were scared? I'm the one who wet himself... Imagine if that got out," He raised his hand and moved it across the air before it fell back into his lap limply, "Front page of the newspaper: Officer Kirk, Pissed His Pants."

McCoy let a laugh escape his throat and he leaned forwards to kiss him gently. Jim was smiling when he pulled away, "Is that to help with the pain, Doctor?"

"It should, yeah," He grinned, though it faltered when Jim reached up to wipe at his cheeks.

"Sorry for scaring you."

Leonard turned to kiss the palm of Jim's hand, "Sorry I couldn't save you."

Jim's lip quirked up to the right, "Oh, you did. You most certainly did."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have an internship at the hospital and my first rotation is in Emergency Department next week and B O Y AM I EXCITED, anyways i might write more angsty hospital fics when i have more experience and general knowledge (if yall have any prompts hmu)

**Author's Note:**

> This will probably be about three chapters long depending, hope you like it ;)


End file.
